Bittersweet Memory

Watching the sun set and the sky growing dark
Up on the tress as the cold wind blew.
I still don't know why it started but
I never wanted to leave I knew.

Wine, laughter, great company
What else could I possibly ask for?
I would say, if you asked me
Just a little bit time more.

The time we had together was short
As night always turned to day.
Though my heart hoped it did not
Goodbye it seemed we must say.

We couldn't have known when we met
That so close we'd come to grow.
More similar than one would expect
But different paths we now have to go.

'If only's and 'What if's may trouble our minds
As treasured thoughts plague our memory.
We try to shake free from these binds
Seems like it'll take an eternity.

Perhaps we got the timing wrong
Perhaps we let ourselves astray.
But as our hours together grew long
I wouldn't rather have had it any other way.

And now we part as dear friends do
With dry eyes but hearts filled with tears.
I have to say that I'll miss you
And hope we'll be friends for coming years.

You'll be my bittersweet memory
Playing out my heart's symphony
In two months you created a treasury
A collection of longing melodies.

Your Touch is My Drowning Sea

A brush on the arm
A touch, a kiss.
Gaze into your eyes I'm falling
Into a dark abyss.

"It's wrong", "Be strong"
In darkness voices call
I'm far away, down below
Those voices seem so small.

In distance I see the light
Way up a pinpoint of bright.
But sweet seduction drowns me
All around is the night

What is wrong and what is right
It's now so hard to say.
I'm lost, I'm confused
I can't tell night from day.

Sinking, drifting, falling
Darkness is all around.
Your touch is my darkness
In this sea I drown.

I could kick away, break free
These hands that pull me further.
But what if I want to
Succumb to this endless struggle.

I give up, I surrender,
Those voices I hear no longer.
Who am I, what are we?
Hush, such queries don't matter.

Your hand on mine; I breathe in
Water fills my lungs.
My lips on yours; no talking
Wordless sighs roll off tongues.

A brush on the arm
A touch, a kiss.
You see I'm drowning
But please don't miss

A smile adorns my lips.

Your touch is my drowning sea
But
Your love is my sanctuary.

The secret to being happy is to never be hurt
The secret to not being hurt is to never expect, and to never care

It's been a while...here's an excerpt of a poem I just wrote:

Hug me close, hold me tight

Lay with me night after night

Kiss my lips, caress my face

Tell me in your heart I have a special place

It hurts the most to lose something I had

I watch you move on and it makes me sad

How could you have loved me and then not

When in this tangle of feelings I remain caught

And here I am

Putting up this dam

Inside I’m breaking

On my own, still loving

When you hear the raindrops fall

As though the sky is weeping

The peaceful calm of the night

Is right there for the reaping.

Do you gaze out into the darkness

Feeling like you're all alone?

Watch the rivulets down the pane

Hear the oak trees moan?

Do you retreat into your mind,

Run through all your thoughts?

Examine the life you live,

And try to connect the dots?

Do you finally fall into slumber

On your face a peaceful smile.

Forgetting all your worries

Just for a little while.

And when you wake in the morning,

Do you see the sunrise?

Sit up in bed, look out,

And open your eyes?

Do you arise from your bed

All ready to go on?

Are you looking forward to the day?

Do you feel reborn?

Or does something plague you

Day by passing day?

Those dark thoughts cast their shadows

And you can't keep them at bay.

Those raindrops you hear falling

Remind you of tears shed.

You try so hard it hurts

But can't get them out of your head.

Those oak trees moan without

And within your heart does too.

Water runs down the windowpane

As tears on your face do.

You retreat into your mind

But peace you look for, you can't find.

All you think of is you

Caught in that daily grind.

A fitful sleep you enter

Hours full of nightmares.

A large shadow flickering in the candlelight

A red eye that glares.

Morning comes and with it light

Softly grazing your face.

But this light, oh it does not reach

Into that deep dark place.

So morning comes and morning goes

And a day passes as such.

You move around, you eat, you work

But you can't bring yourself to care of much.

What life is this

If it is life this way?

Why not bring light to dark

Find meaning in the day?

The question I get most now is what I've been doing during Alll the free time I have since I'm neither going to school nor working nor learning driving or whatnot. Honestly I have no idea where all my time goes. I've been back from the states for exactly a month now, and I'm wondering where that whole month went. As a matter of fact, it seems as though my life has always been as such, having an endless amount of free time, and my holiday to US was eons ago, as was my stint in junior college.

So what do I do..? I slack at home. I write sometimes, I read storybooks, and I watch Chinese historical series like 三国演义, which is really nice as I forgot the entire complex story since I last watched it when I was somewhere in Primary school. Then I watch American series.

Once in a while, I go out with my friends for dinner during weekdays or during weekends, because they are all hardworking people who have found jobs/internships.

And weekends are when my little cousin comes to my house with my aunts to sleepover which makes life considerably more interesting and fun.

(I'm somehow really proud that my attempt at decorative handwriting turned out quite well.)

Cause he's just so cute.

But that being said, I think I've had enough of this rather unfulfilling times. Now I can't wait to start my internship on 2nd April, to meet new people, make new friends, and get out of my house to do something more meaningful/useful/interesting.