Sometimes I wish I could dance. Maybe take up ballet when I was young. Or to have not quit Chinese Dance after primary school and lose my then totally awesome flexibility. To not just watch in awe as people dance in YouTube videos, lost in their passion, but also be able to be a part of it. I think I'm going to learn Tango when I can. It looks fun, elegant, passionate.

And sometimes I wish I knew how to play a musical instrument. The piano, violin, harp, maybe pick up the flute. Then maybe when I was feeling emotional or lonely or just contemplative, I can simply play a song that touches my heart. To express my feelings without words but with musical notes, pouring my soul into what I play, to be lost within the emotions of the song. Or maybe when I'm bored, I can learn a new song, improve on the technical aspect of my playing, improvise and randomly play notes, grab a friend and make music together, instead of wandering around the house thinking of something to do that does not involve mugging. Listening to music is awesome, but it is not the same. Being able to be a part of the creation, making the music instead of just passively sitting there and listening to it... there's a feeling that cannot be replicated.

So sometimes, I write. I write about fictional characters and their turmoil-filled life, about circumstances that force people apart, people from different worlds but close in heart, about renewed hope, confusion and hurt, about falling in love and fighting against it, then fighting for it, About loss. About gain. About happiness. And about sorrow. It's a bit similar to my point about making music. Writing... it's a vastly different experience from reading a book. It's about using your ideas, using your words, to create something unique to yourself. You decide what you want to characters to go through. You decide what they feel. You decide if they end up elated or devastated. You get to create your own world that you, and only you, can control. You can put yourself in the shoes of one character, feel her/his emotions, experience his life, and shape it in whatever way you want to. For me, it is a form of release, a way of expressing myself, to watch my ideas take form in front of me, in the form of words, and looking back at what I write, I can feel the emotions that run through me. When I write, I watch the whole scene play out in front of me, oftentimes with me experiencing it from a first-hand perspective, being one of the characters, sympathising and empathising. Tis a lovely feeling :') I just realised.. I love writing...