Disclaimer: The content below represents MY views from MY observations. I may be wrong and you may really strongly disagree but it doesn't matter cause this is MY blog haha.
Anyways, this is an edited (taking away the short forms, improving the grammar, removing really useless stuffs like 'hmm's and 'haha's) version of an MSN conversation I had yesterday. L means me, J means my friend.
First, we were gushing about US/European/French!! guys, then planning our marriage with those guys after Uni, which then led to a conversation about boyfriends and why girls should want them.
Why should we get a boyfriend?
L: I think it’s just cool to get someone that will support you and like.. hug you and comfort you and stuff, so you can feel safe, protected and loved. I guess it’s more of the emotional help.
J: your close friends who are guys can do that
L: close friends who are guys wouldn’t dare to touch you. I think there's this barrier that they are scared to cross just in case the girl gets offended or something
J: I didn’t know that, I thought if they are your close friends they will understand, like the way you hug your friends who are girls
L: I still think most of them are too shy to try to hug you and stuff.. like guys just aren’t supposed to touch girls, so they don’t dare to do that, and just rather not take the chance.
Usually it’s the girl that touches the guy, like smack them or whatever, the guy usually doesn’t dare to.
J: but if like really close friends, then it would be alright.
L: Finding a really close friend who would do that takes a much longer time than getting a bf. Cause you don’t need to know a person well to be his gf. Gf/bf is more like.. attraction, then just ask out and during dating itself then they get to know each other. But during the process of getting to know more about each other, the guy already can touch the girl, like hold hands, hug this kind of thing.
J: But I thought gf or bf must understand each other
L: I think by the time gf/bf understand each other, it would already be quite a long relationship. Like you don’t need to know the person too much at first, cause dating is mostly.. exploration. So in the beginning it’s not very serious, cause the both of them just get to know more about each other.
J: So that’s why I see couples always hold hands one but don’t really talk to each other. They look in opposite directions and walk. So unromantic and like so quiet, like just hold hands to show only. I feel sad for them.
L: Erm.. maybe they realise they don’t like each other but don’t dare to break up? You know some people hook up during orientation? (For the record, I’m NOT going against these people, I think it’s perfectly fine to hook up during orientation.) Which proves that most people don’t need to know someone really well to get them as a gf/bf. Its, just 1) looks, 2) their behaviour, like how they generally act, 3) character, whether they seem like nice/friendly people.
But for a guy friend that would be comfortable with touching you, you both must be really really close. First u need to get to know the person really well. So for a bf, the touching and getting to know each other comes together. For a close guy friend, it’s first get really close, then can touch.
J: Hmmm.. but always see girls touching guys.
L: For girls we find it easier to touch guys, but for guys to touch girls, it’s just not done. Like we find it completely ok to smack guys and like poke them or stuff, but for guys to do that to girls, people will find it really weird. Society does frown upon guys who touch girls.
Cause girls are supposed to be the more touchy-feely kind, but the image for guys is that they are not supposed to be, so if they touch girls, people won’t think that it’s normal and will think that either something is going on, or like that the guy is some playboy or something.
So if you smack guys, chances are that they won’t smack you back, so technically, we can bully the guys but they won’t bully you back, cause they can’t! So they just whine haha. Yea but of course there are exceptions, but for most of the guys I know, this holds true.
So now you know why when you observe in school girls hugging girls and guys gaying with guys (haha no offence intended), but seldom see guys hugging girls.
-THE END-
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