Women want to feel cherished while men want to feel needed. This is something I read recently and it really rung true for me. While I am totally unqualified to talk about the needs and wants of men, I do believe that I am able to speak for women. Not all of them, granted, but at least, most of them. Women aren’t as complicated as men think we are. There are some things that we look for and want, and these things, when understood, can be very clear and simple. It all stems from the want to feel cherished.

We want guys to spend time with us. We want them to enjoy the time spent with us. We want them to laugh with us, tease us, make us laugh, talk to us, even enjoy comfortable silences with us. When they like to hang out around us, we feel wanted, we feel like they would be affected and miss us when we're not there. We want the guys to approach us first, because if we keep on approaching them, we feel very afraid that we might be annoying them by pestering them, and we feel that they do not enjoy time with us enough to actively start a conversation or come find us first. It makes us feel pathetic and unwanted, being always the first to start an interaction.

We very much want to be shown that we are valued. We are constantly worried about what we mean to our friends, whether they value us or not, whether we mean something to them or not. We can care a lot for our friends, but there is always this nagging feeling within us that asks us if we really mean anything at all to those friends. We are most afraid of being uncherished, that our friends couldn't care less if we existed or not. All we need is reassurance that we are indeed valued. It feels great to be appreciated.

We also want guys to listen to our problems and care for us. Many girls feel vulnerable and wish for a caring guy to listen to their problems and give them a sense of being protected and cared for. We love that old-fashioned concept where the guys are the dominant ones who will take care of the girls and support them when they're feeling down. Yes, we can share our problems with our fellow girlfriends, but there is something different in sharing with a close guy friend. It feels much more comforting. When we share with our girlfriends, we get sympathy, and when we share with our guy friends, we are hoping to be 'looked after' and reassured.

What we seek for most is to be loved, cared for, and supported. This is what we girls offer to each other in our friendships. When we gather around to talk about our problems, we listen to each other intently and show that we are giving our full attention to the speaker. We show that we really care about the feelings of the speaker and that we can empathize and sympathize with the speaker. We show that we will always be available to talk to should the speaker require any emotional support from us. We don't need to hear solutions, we don't need to hear where we've gone wrong and what steps we take, we just need to have someone to give us a listening ear and give us a comforting hug. For many of us, all we want is a hug and reassurance that we have someone to count on whenever we need any support or help.

Many guys don't know how to react when a girl goes up to them to talk about their problems, they don't know what to do when a girl seems so sad she is about to start crying. They start feeling uncomfortable and awkward because they just don't know how to make her feel better. The answer is actually so simple. We girls just want him to listen to us, to show that he cares about us, that we matter to him. We want him to comfort us by paying attention to what we say, and to be interested in our words. What we might also want, is a hug. Girls love physical contact, because it comforts us and makes us feel loved. The next time a girl is sad and tells her about her problems, offer her a hug. If she accepts and leans in, you have given her the greatest reassurance of all. There is nothing more comforting for a girl than a guy holding her in his arms. The feeling of being protected and cared for is just so wonderful that when we break up with someone, the thing we miss the most, is hugging.

A girl always wants to talk about her problems. If you see a girl who seems quieter than usual or looks sad, it might be natural human instinct to ask her what's bothering her. The problem does not lie here. The problem comes about when she replies you with a 'nothing' or 'i'm fine', or variations of such. Many guys don't know how to respond to that. Many think that those replies mean that the girl really is fine, or is unwilling to share with him her problems. As such, they just say things like 'ok', and leave her alone. What these guys don't get is that the girl wants to talk about her problems. She doesn't talk to him upon him asking the first question because she wants him to show that he would actually care about her and what she would say by asking her again. Having a guy ask a girl to tell him what she's going through makes a girl feel secure that she isn't just pestering an unwilling listener, rather, the listener is genuinely interested and wants to listen to her. Most guys don't know this and instead make her feel worse by ignoring the fact that she's upset. This makes her feel even sadder because in addition to her problems, she feels rejected and unloved as the guy doesn't care enough about her to ask her if she's alright again. When in doubt of whether she's fine or not, asking her that is always the right thing to do. Even if she's not feeling down, your asking will definitely make her feel happy as she feels that you at least care about her. Of course, do not bug a girl. If she says things like 'I really can't tell you' or 'please let me have some time alone', you should know what to do. Don't stand there and keep on trying to get her to talk. Rather, just go off or stay by her side quietly, and let her know that you are there for her should she need you. When a girl is facing problems, she is at her most vulnerable and this is the time when she needs concern and reassurance that you care for her. Just ask her what's wrong, and when she tells you, listen to her and at least pretend to be interested.